XXIX | Some Excuses ❦ Tammie stares at my baffled faceonce more and digs her fingersinto my shoulder. You forgot. Even thoughhe died because of you. I think,frantically,but really nothing comes to mind. I only rememberthe silhouette of that person.The same way I recognised ‘Tammie’. I swing my towel at her.Again and again. … Read more
XXVIII | Some Are Sick ❦ Time’s as stunned as I am. In the choked silencethat follows, I realise I’m supposed to say something but I don’t know what to say. Something comforting?Something remorseful?Caring about someone else… Have I done that before? Tammie shatters the awkward pause with a shrug … Read more
XXVII | Someone Dance ❦ I find Tammie later, easily. Not in the studywhere we used to play hangman. I waited there a long time. Got hungry,went to the kitchen for food. She’s there,along the length of the dining table— beside Raymond,Li Wen (his crazy girlfriend) stealing his french fries— empty bowlin front … Read more
XXVI | Sometimes Real ❦ When I wake upagain, the restraints are gone. Is this a hallucination? Sunlightstreams throughthe curtainless window. There’s only one LED lighton the blank ceiling. The nurses sit against the wall, the pretty onetyping on her phone. What day is it?Did the meltdown happen or was that the hallucination? Tammie telling … Read more
XXV | Someone Tells A Story ❦ I’m scared. I’m scaredto open my eyes. What terror awaits mewhen I do? Hey, hey, hey… Fifi. I’m scared. If I open my eyes,something will have changed. The world will be different. I won’t know if it’s realor not again. A handtouches mine. I can’t … Read more
XXIV | Some Singing ❦ Nothing’s gone wrong, Tammie sang.Tammie continues to sing. Days pass,a looping playlist between Moonlight Sonataand this blood song Tammie invented. Nothing’s gone wrong,Nothing’s gone wrong,Nothing’s gone wrong. Every moment we’re together,she just keeps singing that song. I ignore her,trying to shut out her foul, rancid singing. tracingthe … Read more
XXIII | Some Things Forgotten ❦ Family… That’s right… I havea family. In my recollectionof the happiness sandwich,my mother was there. That means there’s a father too. (I can’t rememberhis face.) Family… Why do Isuddenly want to cry? A hazy picturecomes to mind. We’re at a HDB playground, I’m calling for Mummyat the … Read more
XXII | Somewhere Familiar ❦ How many days has it been? My bedroom is curtainedon three walls, blankon the fourth so I can’t tell the time. They stop bringing foodafter the third day so I’ve lost track of how longit’s been. Tammie doesn’t seem to leaveat regular intervals, and I sleep a lotbecause of the … Read more
XXI | Someone’s Life ❦ Fifi…Why are you crying? I can’tturn my head to face Tammie. ButI don’t need to. I can smell her. The rancid vomit that clings to herlike a curse. I inhalethe scent of half-digested proteins like my life depends on it. Tammie. I can’t speak.My voice doesn’t work. She hears … Read more
XX | Someone Who Dreams ❦ Do you understandmy dreamor are you also making that face of fear? No,don’t lie to me. I knowyou don’t get it either. A doctor told meit’s okay if theydon’t understand so long asyou try to understand them. But then whowill understand me? It’s better if … Read more
