LXXIV | Can’t ❦ We leave the glass cubeand hide among the trees that turn this placeinto a garden resort. ‘Don’t say anything,’I tell Mr. Ahmadwho’s calmly following behind. ‘I’m still human.‘I’m not like you or even like Rowan. ‘I don’t get all of this. ‘I’m still‘trying to… understand.’ A car runs like a phantom … Read more
LXXIII | Mask ❦ It’s become a habitto sneak into the houseafter midnight so I don’t have to facemy mother. I don’t want to see herand this makes it easier to blame the father. ‘You’re not honest at all,’Mr. Ahmad says. I ignore the cat,bury it under dirty clothes. The next morning, I think … Read more
LXXII | Whispers ❦ ‘Where’s Jasper and Angie?’I ask, head on the canteen table. Prelims are officially overbut I’m not happy at all. Shuhui offers mea cigarette and a lollipop. I take the lollipop. ‘Loser,’ she sneers.‘Mother Tongue Oral exam,’ Kumar says. All of us are still meetingafter schoolto play soccer even though Ming and … Read more
LXXI | Tight Rope ❦ ‘I’m not leaving, Ming.‘I’m not going anywhere.’ So can you justcalm down and tell me what’s going on? That last partdoesn’t come out becauseI get angry at the absurdity of the situation. ‘Using me‘the whole #%*&ing time,’Ming continues, ‘is it entertaining?’ I squint at him. ‘What are you talking about?’ … Read more
LXX | Friendship ❦ ‘What’s up?’ Ming asks. We’re alone now, sitting on a park benchunder a street lamp. It’s almost midnight. The rest have gone home. We should too,before the last bus. Insects dancebefore the yellow light,in no particular direction—like they’re drunk. ‘My parents are getting divorced,’I say. Ming doesn’t looksurprised. I’m not surprisedhe’s … Read more
LXIX | Dull ❦ ‘Oi, Clyde!’ Ming’s voice. Ming’s armis around my shoulder. ‘Why you not in school uniform?’ I look down at myself,then around me. It takes me a while to get my bearings. The chameleon cat is here,blending into the rootsof the rowan tree. The tree is smallerthan I remember and the hollow … Read more
LXVIII | Solitude ❦ I let Rowan go and regret it instantly. Now I’m all alonein this strange place. What am I supposed to do here? Sleep? The luminous white branchesthat form the wall of the holloware uncomfortable to lean on. Even with my eyesclosedwhite light seeps through from outside and turns red. So I … Read more
LXVII | Soul ❦ Even without its leavesand its red fruit clusters, I know right away it’s a rowan tree. What other tree could it be? It looks like the oneat the back of the school. There’s that nookwhere Rowan always sits. It looksexactly the same. Rowan pulls mepast the metal barrier. We walk … Read more
LXVI | Solace ❦ After so much screaming,I’ve lost my voice. I can’t see anything. My eyes are sealed shutby something heavy and wet. The arms let goof my waist, wipe the tears off my face. I take hold of one handbut it is wrest from my grip. Thin. Slender. Soft.Alive. The voice is muffledeven … Read more
LXV | Creation ❦ The parrot doesn’t return. There’s no one to tell mewhat the whispering means. Nothing happens. I don’t have anything with me.I ran out without my phone.I don’t know how to reach Rowan. I turn awayfrom the rowan treeandeverything goes black. I breathebut I can’t hear myself breathing. I look downbut I … Read more
