LIII | Toilet ❦ I’m leaningagainst the railing, looking over the boardwalkat the sea. Sunset pigmentsand watercolour clouds. The wind mumbles incoherently, I listen without responding. Or maybe it’s not the wind,it’s that dudein knee-high socks. Apparently his name is Adam. And he really enjoys playing soccer. (Knee-high socks, … Read more
LII | Strange One ❦ We’re on a wobbly busheading to the west of Singapore. Some faraway parkwith a nice view of the sunset. The kindergarten kidin the seat behind me is talking loudlyabout his trivial prayerfor it not to rain today. I’m leaning my head againstthe window, watching Rowan next to metalking to the … Read more
LI | Picnic ❦ Today is going to be a bad day. It’s Sunday afternoon.I just woke up. Rowan’s been awake for six hours, gone to church,eaten both breakfast and lunch,sat through a sermon,sang christian karaoke,smiled at many people. My motheris the only person I’ve seen so far(and only her backside), she was leaving … Read more
L | Breathless ❦ We order Korean fried chicken. I want beerbut Rowan says no. She buys coke. I have beer in my fridge,but I don’t tell her that. I try to look obedient. In the timeit takesfor the food to arrive, Rowan straightened outthe books on my bookshelves. I’m sprawledon the cold leather couch … Read more
XLIX | Movie ❦ I don’t particularly likeromance movies but I want to see Rowan’s reaction. I bet she’s neverwatched an NC16 showeven though she’s 17. I close the door. The curtains. Turn off the lights. There’s the faint whirof the air-con generator. I open Netflix. Type ‘The Notebook’. (It’s NC16 in Singapore, okay?) Start … Read more
XLVIII | Taming Who ❦ Kumar isworried about her, but Mingthinks it’s timeshe grew up. I don’t worryabout what my friends think of Rowan. Who knowshow long this will last? They’ll lose interest in her. So will I. Obviously,Tom and Jerrywill bethe most entertained. ‘She won’t change,’ Jerry said. ‘Ah, you finally called.‘Never reply … Read more
XLVII | Trial ❦ What does take it slow mean? School’s started again. I see rowanin class everyday but we don’t talk(unless it’s for project work). I still see herby the rowan tree at the endofeveryday. Now that I’m paying attention, I noticeshe’s not always readingthe Bible. Today,she’s standing there,staring up at the naked … Read more
XLVI | Beyond ❦ She props up the reference book up,hides her face behind it. I pluck itfrom her handsto see the expression on her face. There isn’t one. Her hair is in the way. She picks another bookto put between us. With this shield, she says,‘You’re wrong.‘I didn’t turn my back on it. ‘Your … Read more
XLV | Guilt ❦ Obviously, I havesomething other than researchon my mind. But Rowan comes with the project brief, notes on our initial brainstorming of the theme research on integration and motivation. ‘If you bring so many things‘we can’t borrow any books,’I … Read more
XLIV | Human [Special Rowan Chapter] ❦ Kumar’s gone back home,Aspen’s at camp until tomorrow. I’m alone in the roomtonight. Head under the pillow,I let myself smile. There’s a restlessscratching in my heart. I’m fine. I feel more alive nowthan these past few days when I only cried. I know what Nya-Nya will sayabout Clyde, … Read more
