LV | Someone Disappears
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At night,
Tammie and I talk about
what could have
happened
to her.
When did we last
see her?
What was she doing?
Both of us
have different
memories.
Tammie:
Medicine time
two days ago.
Me:
Talking to Gavin
yesterday.
I’m in the hall painting
everyday.
I’m sure of it.
Sometimes, you can’t even tell me
what you’re painting, Fifi.
If she didn’t come for medicine time
yesterday morning,
we’d have noticed she’s gone
yesterday.
Her grey eyes
sparkle
in the lightless night.
Her smile
is apologetic.
We did notice yesterday.
But we didn’t care, remember.
My head hurts.
Why do you care now?
She starts to squirm.
I grab her wrists.
Stop moving around.
Her lips part
and I know what she’s going to say
before
she says it.
You never liked her
to begin with.
‘Whether I like her or not–’
She’s the one
who took your plastic knife.
What?
‘…are you talking about?’
Tammie smiles again,
pushing the blanket away,
propping herself up.
That time.
You hid a knife
between the rowan trees.
A
long
long
time ago.
Have you forgotten?
I sit up too
so we’re looking into
each other’s
eyes.
It was within that first week
I came—
the nurses
were still following me.
The nurses took it,
I remind Tammie.
You told me, remember?
She shrugs.
I wasn’t there when you hid it.
But she knew about it.
She told me
she knew
about the knife
and then
we played hangman.
Tammie lets my mind
twist into knots
before she relents.
I saw Krishna take it out.
From between the trees.
She told me
you put it there.
Crickets are chirping,
but it could also be
the sound of silence.
It’s
a bit hard
to tell
with Tammie so close.
I don’t understand
what she’s saying.
Tammie falls back into the bed
and pulls me on top of her.
It’s okay, Fifi.
I’ll show you
tomorrow.
What that space
between the rowan trees
really is.
I won’t
be able to sleep
like this.
I try to make her tell me now.
I’m all worried
thinking about these things.
She cups my ear
and whispers gently,
When you open your eyes,
it’ll be morning.
I do as she says.
Nowadays,
I always
do as Tammie says.
I open my eyes
and there’s
nothing
but light
in my eyes.
I burrow
into the pillow
until the stars
stop shining.
Then,
Moonlight Sonata
begins cheerfully.
After medicine time,
Tammie
drags me
to the greenhouse.
We pass by
our locked
bedrooms
and I remember
the first night
I slept next to Tammie.
Inside the frigid greenhouse,
the hot Singapore sun
stabs us randomly
on our way to the rowan trees.
It’s confusing—
I’m not sure
whether
to feel hot or cold.
The door opens again.
Tammie
lets go
of my hand.
Zuraida.
She’s alone—
it’s been more than a week.
Her hair
covers most of her face
when she walks
so I don’t know
if she sees us.
I turn to Tammie
but she’s not there
anymore.
Before I can
call her name,
Zuraida looks up
at the rowan trees.
We’re not in Singapore.
I blink.
She picks some berries
from a branch.
Eats them.
Chews
for a long time.
Swallows.
Rowan trees don’t grow in Singapore.
Can you go away?
I ask her,
irritated.
She ignores me.
I’m don’t think
she even
heard me.
Is it one tree or two trees?
She steps
from the cobblestone path
onto the dirt
to get a closer look.
Zuraida
stares at the gap
between the trunks of the rowan trees
and begins
to squeeze
herself
through.
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