hikikowriter

XLVI | Beyond ❦ She props up the reference book up,hides her face behind it. I pluck itfrom her handsto see the expression on her face. There isn’t one. Her hair is in the way. She picks another bookto put between us. With this shield, she says,‘You’re wrong.‘I didn’t turn my back on it. ‘Your … Read more

XLV | Guilt ❦ Obviously, I havesomething other than researchon my mind. But Rowan comes with the           project brief,          notes on our initial brainstorming of the theme          research on integration and motivation. ‘If you bring so many things‘we can’t borrow any books,’I … Read more

XLIV | Human [Special Rowan Chapter] ❦ Kumar’s gone back home,Aspen’s at camp until tomorrow. I’m alone in the roomtonight. Head under the pillow,I let myself smile. There’s a restlessscratching in my heart. I’m fine. I feel more alive nowthan these past few days when I only cried. I know what Nya-Nya will sayabout Clyde, … Read more

XLIII | Chance ❦ Rowan drags me to school. No reason, really. (We’re not wearing school uniform.) It’s late.The back gate’s going to close. But Rowan wantedto see this rowan tree. I followed alongbecause I don’t have anything to do right now. There’s pink and orange clouds in the sky. The moon has riseneven though … Read more

XLII | Confession ❦ Kumar texted methe night Rowan declared‘I hate you.’ He’s not using Rowan’s phone anymore. I read the message,listless. It’s another reporton Rowan’s mood. I don’t know why Kumar’s sending these. I told himhe doesn’t have to. That Rowanwon’t appreciate himdoing so. He just sent me the crying emoji in response. Kumar … Read more

XLI | War ❦ It’s two daysafter the incidentat Blue Abyss when I visit Kumar at Rowan’s house. I hesitateat the bus stop, suddenly remembering how she cried. Tears flowing fromexpressionless eyes. Jerry had been insulted but she had cried. I texted her,the number Kumar used before. No reply.   Jerry said afterwards the incident … Read more

XL | Entry ❦ Norakeeps glancingat Rowan as we’re sprawledaround the bar where Tom works. His workplacelooks similarto the nameless chicken rice shopin decor. But it has a name:BLUE ABYSS. It’s crowded tonight. ‘Why did you ask her to come?’she asks me. I gulp downa can of real beer. ‘To see her reaction.’ Nora stares … Read more

XXXIX | Persuasion ❦ I only came to school todaybecause there’s a stupid project work briefing Kumar asked me to attend. It has nothing to do with the rebuttalI came up with last night to infuriate Rowan. Nothing to do with wanting to see her either. Project workis an A Level subjectthat can get me into … Read more

XXXVIII | Thought ❦ Rowan follows me like a ghostas I stroll around the hawker centre. Why does she care so much? He was old. He would have diedeventually. I buy her a meal. She eats without really looking. Then,does she worry about me? We’re in the bus againwhen I tell her ‘He wanted to … Read more

XXXVII | Gone ❦ My phone makes a soundacross the room. Ah. I run to the nameless chicken rice shop. Breathless, I reach the doorand pause, one hand on the cool metal handle, my reflection pantingin the black glass. The door is opened before I am done composing myself. I stumble inside,falling into Rowan’sexpressionless eyes. … Read more