LVIII | Some Are Allowed
❦
There’s no
ceremony
when a new patient arrives.
No friendliness.
The rest of us
ignore them
like we
ignore each other.
It doesn’t
matter
after all,
whether there’s one more,
or two,
or three.
Our lives
don’t change
very much.
The only one
who seems
disturbed
by the arrival of the twins
is
Li Wen.
❦
From where I’m painting
horses
by the window,
I see Li Wen
glaring at them
walking into the hall
holding hands,
the girl leading with two sandwiches.
I’m eating
cai-fan
with Tammie,
dinner.
Li Wen
watches them
from Raymond’s lap,
sharing an armchair,
whispering
into
each other’s ears.
During medicine time,
she ruins
the melody of
Moonlight Sonata
by whispering curses
and insults
about them.
What’s her problem?
I ask Tammie
as we get ready to shower.
They aren’t after Raymond.
Why does she care?
Tammie
only smiles
apologetically,
leaning
against
the wall.
I have to get her clothes
for her.
The twins
enter
the guys bathroom
without their nurses.
It’s bizarre to see
a girl not Li Wen
inside the guys bathroom
that we can’t help
peeking over.
Li Wen
emerges
from one of the cubicles,
a slight smile
on her face.
Even I know
her head
is full of nothing
but Raymond.
But when she
notices the two of them,
hands interlocked,
one holding
clothes,
the other, towels—
like extensions of each other—
she rolls her eyes
and scowls.
They enter
the cubicle
she just
evacuated.
The door swings
closed
behind them.
Li Wen
stops it
with the flat surface of her palm.
It swings back open.
The girl
glares at her
with coal-black eyes,
taking a step
to block Li Wen
from her brother’s view.
I notice
he squeezes
her hand.
‘This is the guys bathroom,’ Li Wen tells her.
The new girl tries
to close the door
with her foot.
Li Wen pushes against it,
so it crashes into the wall
with a loud smack.
‘You can’t bathe with him!’
she yells.
The plain nurse
pokes her head
into the guys bathroom
to see
what’s going on.
‘Who are you?’
the new girl demands.
It’s the first time
I’m hearing
her voice.
She has a slight Malay accent.
I wouldn’t
have guessed
because
their skin is so pale.
Li Wen laughs.
The air
suddenly
turns cold.
‘I’m telling you nicely.’
She speaks each word
slowly,
‘So you better listen up.
‘This is how
‘things work
‘around here.’
The new girl
looks down
at her hand in her brother’s.
And I see
fear
flash briefly
in her eyes.
The plain nurse
puts a hand on Li Wen’s shoulder.
Attempts to placate her.
‘It’s okay,’
she says.
‘They’re allowed.’
Wrong answer.
Li Wen’s eyes
burn.
Her curly hair
seems to stand up
with the static
of indignation.
‘Allowed?’ she spits out. ‘Why are they allowed?
‘How come
‘I’m not allowed
‘to bathe with Raymond?’
Like a rom-com,
it’s at this moment
that Raymond
walks into the bathroom.
His ears turn red,
and he
begins to
retreat.
But Li Wen’s seen him.
She grabs him by the arm
and pulls him into another empty cubicle.
‘Raymond,
‘we can bathe together!’
The nurse
is the one who
pushes against the door,
dragging Raymond,
then Li Wen,
with more strength
than I thought she’d have.
‘Stop behaving like this, Li Wen!’
she scolds.
‘It’s totally different.’
The new girl,
who’s handed her burden of clothes to her brother,
uses her free hand
to make a rude gesture
at Li Wen.
For the first time
in my life,
I see all hell break loose
while I’m sane.
❦